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Gangs of Medfield
=Overview= Gangs of Medfield was one of the original Wazoo Epics, along with Johnny Tremain. The film was supposed to be a stupid parody of Gangs of New York, but soon escalated into a completely different film taking on its own identity. The majority of the movie was scripted by Alex Sakach and Giovanni Colantonio. =Cast= The Casting for this epic has changed many times since its birth, but some roles have remained the same throughout its evolution: Giovanni Colantonio- Fernando Gangbang (Later renamed Fernando Atillio) Alex Sakach- Anthony Faringlatango Andrew Thomas- Gordo Tom Doug Linse- Fuzzy the Gunman Sutton Dewey- Sonny Peep Other cast members who's role has been changed ten million times: Dave Curran Jamie O'Connell Joe Coletta Andrew Hoffman Jake Farrar Jake Spillane Mike H Matt Whalen Jack Samels Pete Day Paul Ramos Ben Vessa =Working Script= This working script was recovered in an Alex Sakach email to Sutton Dewey sent on October 27, 2004. GANGS OF MEDFIELD Cast GANG Alex- Anthony Faringlatango G- Fernando Atillio Andrew- Gordo Tom J- Douldanni Dan- Don Martino Cory- Cormiester Joe- Asvaldo Andrew H- Angelo Sutton- Sonny Peep MOB Doug- Fuzzy the Gunman Jack Mike Fargo Pete Bryan OTHERS Jake Spilliane- Agent Strom Wally- Gun salesmen Franco- Paulo Atillio Intro G is walking through a building, he turns a corner and Jake is there Jake- Fernando Attilio? G- Yes? Jake- Im Agent Strom of the FBI, I have some bad news G- Uh yea? Jake- Your brother has been killed. G- That’s awful! Jake- The Son of a bitch deserved it. G- Excuse me? Jake- He was a mass murder and a pedophile. G- My brother, Paulo Atillio? Jake- Nah, I’m just fuckin’ with ya, he was a gang leader who was a suspected money launderer. All we really have on him is a speeding ticket, so we couldn’t arrest him. G- So that’s where all that money came from.. Jake- So do you want to see the body? G- Sure... Jake- Ok here we are G- Aren’t we supposed to go to the morgue or something? Like is there an autopsy? Jake- Nah, we don’t do that for criminals. G- So you just left him here? Jake- Well you see we....uh.... yeah pretty much. G- WHAT THE HELL?! Jake- Sorry, its policy. G- So where’s the body? Jake- It’s not here? That’s ironic... G- How the hell is it ironic?! Jake- It just is, I’m with the goddamn government, deal with it. G- Just tell me where the body is.... Jake- It was right here about an hour ago... G- And now its....? Jake- Well I guess Campbell’s guys got here. G- The soup guys? Jake- Yeah, that’s them G- Why the hell would they have anything to do with my dead brother? Jake- Ever wonder where Lentil soup comes from? G- Your kidding me... Jake- Nope. G- So your telling me that my brother is gonna be on a shelf? Jake- That’s right, well I now got a hankerin’ for some soup! Well keep in touch. G- Wait! Who killed my brother!?! Jake- Hell if I know, it’s not my problem. G- Damn...Now IM hungry....I need to get me some soup...CHICKEN SOUP!!! FOR MY SOUL!!!!!! ASSHOLE!!!!! Scene 1: The Will G is cleaning out his brothers house. He sees a envelope saying will he reads it aloud. “To whom ever it may concern: As you all may know, I am Paulo Attilio, the leader of the last surviving Gang in Medfield, The Rabid Bunny Poachers. (G looks up “What a strange name....) In case I am killed for any reason, I want my roll to be fulfilled by my most loyal member, and my bestest friend in the whole wide world, Anthony Faringlatango. (G: Bestest Friend?! What the hell?!) My Brother Fernando can’t have anything, I repeat, ANYTHING to do with the gang. He sucks at EVERYTHING. He couldn’t shoot a gun even if he was denied food, sleep and porn till he could. (G: THAT RAT BASTARD!!!) Take care all Sincerely, Paulo Attilio” G- What the hell is this! Who is this Anthony Guy? And I’ll show him... Faringlatango...Faringlatango...Ah Anthony Faringlatango, 18 Phillip Street. Scene 2: Into the Lair of Anthony G drives up to Anthony’s house he knocks on the door J- Ya? G- Hello, is Anthony Faringlatango there? J- And what do you with him? G- It’s about Paulo Attilio G- It’s his brother, Fernando! J- Come on in J- Ok go on he’s this way G- Ok thanks J- Anthony, Nando’ Attilio is here Alex- Really? Send him in. G- Hello, are you Anthony Faringlatango? Alex- Yeah. What do you want? G- It’s about my brother’s will, he left you everything...why? Alex (not looking up from his cards)- Simple, he thought that you would blow the family fortune on something stupid like Vanity Fair magazine. (To the others) Anti up boys. G- That’s stupid. Uh why do you have people who come in here get frisked? Alex- You were frisked? G- Yeah, by the guy at the door? Alex- What guy? J- That’s why they call me Douldanni! Alex- Oh god...Douldanni, I’ll talk to you later G- ok... Joe- I’ll raise 100 (Look at his hand, pair of deuces) Alex- I’ll see it (G watches intently) Joe- Got any 2s? Andrew- nope (He has pair of Tens) Alex- Go fish bitch, got any Deuces? Joe- SON OF A... Alex- Your outta cards, pick the last card. (Joe does, picks up a ten) Ok, got any tens? Andrew- Ah shit. Alex- HAHAHA SCORE!!! (Takes the pot) G- Uh... One more question, can I join the gang? Alex (stops celebrating)- No. G- Why? It’s my brothers gang, and I want to get revenge for my brother. Alex- Well who killed him? G- I was hoping you would know that? Joe- We wish we did. Alex- Shuddup, are you the one he’s talkin to? Joe- no... G- Actually, I was addressing all of you gentlemen... Alex- Oh stop being so fucking difficult. G- I’m not, I’m being civil. Alex- See? Look at this, he comes into my house, insults us all, and claims HE’S being civil. Who the hell are you, Bill Gates? G- huh? Andrew- It’s an expression G- Uh, no it’s not, it’s a meaningless connection. Alex- Oh shut up Mr. “I know every expression ever” G- I’m not claiming to know them all, but that if defiantly not one of them. MOVING ON, can you guys help me figure out who killed my brother? Alex- What to you guys think? Wanna help Mr. Microsoft Fan boy” out? Andrew- Meh, why not. G- Come on! Joe- Whatever.... Alex- Listen kid, it seems we all want to get revenge for him, so I guess I can help ya, might as well let ya into the family. G- Really? Alex- No. G- Why? Alex- Your bro said that you suck at everything and that you’re a pussy. G- I’m not a pussy, events change people, I’m cold now Alex- You’re an idiot, a genuine first class idiot.. I will do this though, I’ll take ya to Fuzzy, he knows everything. G- As for joining the gang? Alex- We’ll see. Let’s go Nando’ G- ok. Scene 3: Fuzzy the Gunman Alex- Ok kid, here’s the deal. Don’t talk unless talked too. Understood? G- Yeah sure. Alex- Fuzzy it’s Anthony. Open up. Doug- Hello Anthony, who’s this? Alex- Paulo’s brother Nando’, he wants to know who killed his bro Doug- Ah, I might be able to help, come on in. G- Thank you. Doug- Ok, well your brother had lots of enemies. One of them is the Mob G- Mob? Doug- Yeah, back in the day, there was one Gang that owned the whole town, then when your brother came into power, one small group split off cause they wanted another leader, they thought he was too goody good. They became the mob, we have been fighting them ever since. Alex- Also, the cops started to get pissed at us for killing each other, so gang violence has been cracked down on, the laws are stricter. G- What is it now? Alex- 100 dollar fine, can you believe that shit? G- What the hell, that’s it? Doug- Anyways, after they made the law stricter, more people left to going the Mob, which was completely legal. G- You think the mob did this? Doug- Good job Bill Gates! Alex- TOLD YA IT WAS AN EXPRESSION! Anyways, we had Paulo pretty well protected. Doug- Yes, but have you thought there might be an insider? Alex- Uh no... Doug- I think that you need to think about that. Alex- But who? Doug- I have no idea. But I would watch my back if I was you Anthony...Do you guys want something to drink? G- Sure Alex- why not? Doug- (Gets two cokes)Here ya go guys. Alex and G- Thanks Doug- So as I was saying, there must be an insider. Alex- Seems so. G- But who would want my father dead? Doug- Your brother was a gang leader, he pissed off the mob, so I’m my money on them. G- Where can we find this mob? Alex- I know where they hang out. G- Then let’s go and pay them a visit. Doug- That’s risky, but worth a try, they are fairly large, and they are all well armed, you can’t just waltz in there and ask. Alex- How strong? Doug- Can’t quite say my friend, but they are bigger then the gang. Alex- Yeah I already ruled a full scale gang war out. Doug- Good call, Paulo made a good choice putting you in charge. But I guess If you really wanna get the scoop you’ll have to be tricky. Alex- Alright thanks man, we best be going ‘Nando. G- Wow, how’d he know all that? Alex- Fuzzy knows it all, he was a core gang member in his time. Scene 4: Anthony’s address Alex- Boys, I called you here for many reasons, number 1, this here is Nando’, he’s Paulo’s bro, and he wants revenge on the men who killed his brother, so do we, so I think it’s fitting to add him to the gang. G- Hi! Alex- Ok, you know Douldanni over there, he’s the best damn shooter we have. J- That’s why they call me Douldanni! Alex- That there is Cormiester, he’s my bodyguard. G- Hi man Cory- Shut the fuck up you faggot! Alex- Cormiester... Cory- Sorry Anthony. Alex- Over there is Don Martino, my Hit man and Sonny Peep, my other body guard. Dan- Sup kid? Sutton- Hey son Andrew- HOLA! Alex- Oh right, that’s Gordo Tom he can only say hola. G- ok... Alex- There’s Esvaldo and Angelo, you’ve met them already. Anyways, I went and talked to Fuzzy, and he thinks the mob killed Paulo. Dan- I coulda guessed. Andrew H- What do you suggest we do? Start a gang war? G- With the 9 of us, I think we’ll need more people. Alex- NO, we’ve fought the mob before, and got our ass’ kicked, I’m not getting the rest of us killed yet. But you have a point, we can’t do much with just 9 people, so we’re gonna need to start recruiting. G- So what do we need to do that? Sutton- Men Alex- Guns J- AND CHEESE! G- Cheese...? J- It has calcium and we need strong bones to fight. G- but don’t we use guns to fight? Dan- Shut up Mr. “I know everything about gangs and calcium.” Alex- As I was saying, we need to go about this in a more “Covert” sort of way if you catch my drift. G- I don’t think you can catch a drift.... Sutton- That’s actually an expression.... Alex- OH OWNED MR. “I KNOW ALL THE EXPRESSIONS” G- It’s not a very good one... Alex- But as I was saying, I know where the mob hangs out, so I think me and Nando here will go and see what’s up. Scene 5: The mob’s hang out Alex- Ok, here we are. G- The Town Hall? Alex- No, they hang over in that there pizza place. G- Oh, that makes a bit more sense. Alex- There ya go, now your learning, so here’s the plan, we’re gonna go and ask to join the mob, just follow my lead. G- Won’t they know who you are? Alex- Wow, I’m starting to think you have some level of intelligence, 2 observations in one day that don’t involve microsoft or the Republic of China. G- Isn’t China Communist? Alex- Wow, 3!! But yeah, that’s why I have this (Pulls out a disguise) G- I see Alex- Ok let’s go. Look, there they are, over by the library. Alex- Yo yo yo, sup brothas, y’all the mob? Matt- Yeah, whats it to ya? Alex- Me an my home fry Swift here wanna join up wit y’all, we heard y’all run the town. Jack- and you are? Alex- Mayn, I’m Steve-o, jus call me Trink master A. Slick. Matt- You look awfully familiar... Alex- Meh, ya don’t look familiar to me. Matt- Whatever, this way Matt- You boss, these two wanna join up with us. Mike- Ah, hello boys G- Sup homie Mike- uh...hi....so you both wanna join. Alex- Ye, but we gots ta know some Shiot fiwst Mike- Like? Alex- Well fiwst off, how many y’all got? Mike- I don’t give out specifics to new members, but between 10 and 30 G- Aight, you lead this crew? Doug- No I do Fernando Gangbang. Alex- WHAT THE FUCK! Doug- Hi Anthony. Alex- Ah fuckin hell (Throws hat on the ground) Doug- You walked right into my trap, diabolical eh? G- YOU KILLED MY BROTHER!!! Doug- Good job Bill. (Alex reaches down to his boot and pulls out a gun) Alex- TRIP BITCH! (Shoots Matt, Doug, Mike and Pete stand stunned) NANDO LETS GO, (They run off) Doug- Let them go, we’ll deal with them later. BACK AT THE GANG’S BASE G- Fuzzy killed my brother.... Alex- Fuzzy betrayed the gang... G- When I get my hands on that asshole.... Andrew H- hey guys how’d it go? Alex- Bad, get the boys together, I got bad news. Joe- What’s this all about? Alex- Ok guys, I got some sad news. Fuzzy has betrayed us, he’s the leader of the mob, he killed Paulo, and tried to kill Nando and I. Dan- No way, me and Fuzzy go back a long way, he wouldn’t do that! G- He did. Cory- Ain’t he outta the game? Sutton- Apparently not... Alex- DOWN!!!!!!! G- What the hell just happened? Alex- My best guess is they just started a gang war... G- Martino, you believe us now? Dan- wow... Alex- Everyone, stay down, they might come back. J- Anyone wanna play cards? (They play) Alex- Ok I think its safe to get up. Everyone, go home, get your guns, cloths and crap, were going back to the bunker. G- Bunker? Alex- My basement. We all lived down there during the other gang wars to avoid accidents like that one G- oh... Scene 6: Nando’s Puffs Morning, g is still asleep Andrew (up in g’s face)- HOLA HOLA HOLA HOLA HOLA HOLA G- AH! Andrew- Hola! G- What are you doing? Andrew- Hola! G- Alright alright...Show me to Anthony or someone who actually talks. Andrew- Hola... G- This for me? Cory- No, its for your mom! It took me all night to make those puffs Alex- it took me even longer to find milk that wasn’t stale. G- meh, this basement smells funny Alex- It’s just the milk G- Delightful...this place looks like shit... Alex- You get used to it. Eat up. G- I think ill pass... Alex- Ok, you and Martino are gonna go and get yourself a gun. G- You sure it’s safe out there? Alex- Ya, you’ll be fine. Scene 7: Nando’s first kill Wally- Hi guys, what can I do for ya? Dan- Yeah, ya see, my friend here wants to buy a gun Wally- We have a large selection here, as you can see. What are you interested in? G- A Magnum! Wally- I got one of those, they are back here, want me to bring them out? G- Ye... Dan- No, I don’t think he can handle a Magnum, how about a .9mm Wally- Sure thing, ill go get one. G- oh... Wally- Here ya go. Dan- Thanks, how much will it be? Wally 72.50 Dan- here ya go, you owe me Nando’ Wally- I need to see some Id and a gun licence. Dan- Here ya go. Wally- No, his, the gun is for him, he needs a licence. G- I don’t have one. Wally- Well you wanna buy one for 10 more bucks? G- Sure here. Wally- Ok, lets see, ill print on up for ya ok sign here G- Ok Wally- OK that will be 120.76 Dan- Whoa whoa whoa, that doesn’t add up. Wally- Tax Dan- That’s Bull Wally- 145.50 or no gun G- 145.50! It was 82.50 at first, then 120.76, what kinda shop you running here? Wally- Calm down sir, I don’t like punk ass kids coming into my store and complaining, now hand over the 175 dollars and be on your way. Dan- NO, I’M PAYING NO MORE THEN 82.50 FOR THAT GUN Wally- Sir, calm down, this is not necessary. Dan- I wanna talk to your manager Wally- Sure (Turns around and puts on a fake mustache) Ok what seems to be the problem? Dan- Seriously, go get your manager Wally- I am the manager. G- Your clerk, you just put on a fake mustache! Wally- I use rogain! Dan- You use the party store... G- Fuck it... uh...oops... Dan- Shit kid, you killed the fucking clerk! You know what that means? G- Uh...jail time...? Dan- Hell no! Free shit!